I have indeed heard it said, on more than one occasion, that baklava is the quintessential pastry. Its flakiness is unparalleled and it is dripping with sweet honey in a way that makes it the envy of all food products. It is layered and includes both crunchy nuts and soggy sweet goo, both important elements of pastry.
Its fatal flaw, however--beyond its evident hubris--is the stubborn way it has been shoved into a dessert category, shunned from breakfast foods. As we know, there is an inverse relationship between the likelihood that something is a pastry and the time of day it which it is eaten. Please see figure 5c.
The question then becomes: is baklava the exception that proves the rule or simply an exception to the rule? Are we objectifying the baklava even by having this discussion? How have we gotten so far from the essence of baklava? Is it right of us to punish the baklava for a reason so totally out of its control and dependent on human whims?To quote Foucault, "In its function, the power to punish is not essentially different from that of curing or educating."I would like to admit that I have eaten baklava for breakfast before. Together, the revolution is in our hands.
In considering the epistemology of pastry categorization, I think it is manifestly clear that the entire endeavor is doomed to skeptical collapse. Indeed, the "baklava question" may be the feather that broke the camel's back. As you admit, you yourself have eaten baklava for breakfast, thereby violating your own pastry logic. Can we ever hope to escape the boundaries of our own subjective consciousness? Is there a Plato's cave of pastries that we may apprehend by careful application of logic and reason? I think not. To paraphrase Derrida, "I have only pretended to pretend." Thus, punishing the baklava is merely punishing ourselves for failing to achieve metaphysical transcendence.
ReplyDeleteomg this whole plato ultimate pastry thing is just like what the nazis thought. like theres a master pastry. LOOK IT UP PEOPLE NEVER FORGET
ReplyDeletePersonified pastry...it's the new panopticon of modern society in your local bakery!
ReplyDeletePastry Analyst, you are making grad students everywhere watch their love of Foucault crumble.
@Sam: But how can you use the word "pastry" unless it refers to something? And if you can, what is that thing? If there is a table full of foodstuffs, and I ask you to bring me a pastry, surely you can react to my statement, either bringing me food or telling me there is no pastry (or that it is not the write time of day for one!) And clearly, through careful experiment, we can find, for a given arrangement of foodstuffs on a table, how you will react to the pastry command; through such a process we can define boundaries of pastryness, and perhaps through further experiments, find more or less pastry-like objects, thus approaching the ideal pastry and non-pastry, just as a regular n-gon approaches a circle as n approaches infinity. Thus, your words say there is no ideal pastry or non-pastry, but your stomach/mind says otherwise.
ReplyDeleteScience and reason will always triumph over the wishwashy relativism of certain chefs I can name (S.G.). Only then can we be liberated from the enigma of the human mind. UNDERSTAND PASTRY. ORDER IS FREEDOM.
I would like to recommend that for your next pastry you analyze the human spirit.
ReplyDeleteWhat about danish?? A quintessential breakfast pastry!! I find fault with your diagram, dear madam!!
ReplyDeleteSigh...whoever posted that last comment clearly didn't ACTUALLY READ THE DIAGRAM, WHICH DEMONSTRATES THAT PASTRIES ARE EATEN MOSTLY AT BREAKFAST.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that it was probably a humanities major
ReplyDelete