Pastry Analyst 1: i did bao
The Skeptic: you've never even had bao
Pastry Analyst 1: so?
The Skeptic: so what do you know about bao?
Pastry Analyst 1: i saw a picture. i wrote a very informed blog post
The Skeptic: you know nothing of its texture, its taste. it's like reading a review of a movie and then writing a review of the movie based on that
also, you make another assumption about the flakiness
what do you know about its flakiness? you've never had one
it flakes, just in a different way than, say, a croissant
it flakes. its sweet.
Pastry Analyst 1: its pork
The Skeptic: you're confusing flaky with crunchy
Pastry Analyst 1: pork is savory
The Skeptic: bbq pork
Pastry Analyst 1: its not flaky
The Skeptic: bbq is sweet
it flakes
it doesn't crunch
Pastry Analyst 1: it crumbles
The Skeptic: it doesn't crumble
croissant crumbles
your worldview crumbles
Pastry Analyst 1: croissant flakes
The Skeptic: bao doesn't crumble
Pastry Analyst 1 : your mother flakes!!!!
The Skeptic: you should probably just have this conversation be your bao post on your blog
Crumbly? Flakey? Crunchy? Savory? None of these features explicitly qualify or disqualify a pastry!
ReplyDeleteThe one feature of bao that eliminates it from the filum pastry-a-please? Squishyness. Show me a squishy pastry, and I will show you someone who disagrees with your pastry identification skills. Or, perhaps, I will show you someone who is curious about whether or not he's hungry enough to eat that obviously soggy/stale doughnut.
(for those who want to be prematurely rewarded for fullfilling the aforementioned challenge: those people are both me)
I HATE THIS BLOG. YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT SPROUTS.
ReplyDelete